How to Keep the Romance of Valentines Day in Your Marriage All Year

Keeping Your Marriage AliveBeing romantic on Valentine’s Day can be easy. Men are encouraged to buy flowers and we are tempted by expensive heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Putting your feelings into words with heartfelt Valentine’s cards is the order of the day. It’s hard not to develop a bit of glow with these tangible reminders of your beloved’s devotion.

But what about day to day – you know, when the washing machine is broken again, the kids are playing up and work hours are long and exhausting? How can you keep the romance alive when life seems to be hurtling past at a rate of knots, dragging you and your partner along behind it? It can be hard but with a little effort, it’s definitely not impossible.

Here are some tried and true tips – for both men and women – to help keep Valentine’s Day in your marriage all year long.

Always give heartfelt farewells and welcomes
Make your partner feel like you are sad to see them go and happy to see them come home. Don’t just shout a hurried goodbye and rush out the door. Be sure to seek your partner out and give them a kiss and a hug before leaving. Try to make the last thing you say before your partner goes out be, “I love you”. Equally, when your partner returns home greet them and give them a hug and kiss hello.

Encourage PDAs
Public displays of affection should be encouraged. A simple kiss and hug in public are perfectly acceptable. Hold hands. Let your kids – and the rest of the world – see that you love one another.

Really listen to your partner when they speak. If you are doing something else, stop – or if you really can’t ask them to please give you a second. Then give them your full attention. There’s nothing worse than realising you’ve just said “Yeah, sure honey” and not being able to remember what you’ve just agreed to, except perhaps having to repeat something you’ve already shared for the umpteenth time and feeling like you are just not being heard.

Keeping the Life in Your Marriage

Life is too short to take everything seriously. Try to keep the atmosphere light and laugh at one another’s jokes. Look for the funny in stressful situations – it can be hard but even battlefield humour is better than none at all.

You are both on the same team
Remember this, particularly when times get tough. Always present a united front to others, especially your kids. Kids – and even some adults – are specialists at “divide and conquer” and when decisions are involved, a house divided will fall.

Praise your partner around others
If you have a bone to pick with your partner, pick it with them, not your friends or relations. Never, ever use social media to air your grievances. Discuss the things that drive you crazy about each other and try to work out manageable solutions or at the worst, agree to disagree. Never tear your partner down behind their back no matter how cross you may be. 

Say thank you
Even if they are just doing something that you have both agreed is ‘their job’, make a point of saying thank you from time to time. Praise your partner for a job well done, whether its cooking dinner or taking the kids out for a while so you can get some peace. Making each other feel appreciated can really benefit your relationship.

Keeping the Life in Your MarriageSpend time together
Make time together an absolute priority. While time with friends is important, it’s your relationship that needs nurturing more than anything else. Don’t choose your time with your friends over time with your partner. Try to organise a monthly ‘date night’ just the two of you – and agree not to discuss your kids or stressful household situations. This is harder than it sounds, but well worth it!

Remember the only person you can change is you
Just because you say thank you, listen and praise your partner doesn’t mean they will necessarily return the favour. However it can be counter-productive to try to change someone as we are stubborn creatures by nature. Lead by example and you may find your partner gently moves their behaviour in line with yours. If not, even the small changes you make can be a real benefit to the atmosphere in your home and help you keep Valentine’s Day in your marriage all year.

Shared with Motivation Monday

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Article by April Harris

April has written 1280 great articles for us.
April is a writer, recipe developer, frequent traveller and blogger sharing travel, food, and style. Based in the south of England, April is a British Canadian who is passionate about family, hearth and home, healthy living (with treats!) and the transformative power of travel.
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  1. A lovely post,
    and all so true.
    Emma x.

  2. I love this. It’s so easy to forget how and why we fell in love with our significant other. Something our pastor told me before we got married that I’ll never forget was to ‘keep falling in love with each other’. In my opinion communication is key, and you really broke down what all aspects of communication are in this post. We tend to take out whatever angers or frustrations we have on the people we love the most because they’re ‘supposed to forgive us’, but in the end that’s what winds up tearing most people apart. Remember why you fell in love, why this person is your best friend, and treat them like they’re the most important person in the world, because to you they are.

    Thank you April!

    • Thank you for the lovely comment, Elise! I’m so glad you enjoyed my post. I love what your pastor told you before you were married. ‘Keep falling in love with each other’ is absolutely the best advice. And what you said about ‘treat them like they are the most important person in the world, because to you they are’ is wonderful as well!

  3. Having just been apart for Valentines Day for the first time in years, I’m not sure I’m qualified to comment on this! However, yes, I often say that what my husband does for me every single day is more important than flowers and a card on Valentines Day (actually, I got neither, which is fine). And I think couples who pick bones with each other in public are on a really slippery slope. Maybe it’s just my British-ness, but once you start to undermine and disrespect the other in public, that seems to me to be a signal you don’t value your partner in the way you should.

    • I think you are very qualified to comment on it, Pauline 🙂 I totally agree, picking bones with each other in public is a very slippery slope indeed. I don’t think it matters if you are apart on Valentine’s Day – my husband and I were apart once when he had to travel for work. We used it as an excuse to celebrate another evening – and our restaurant meal was better as they weren’t so rushed and it was less expensive too 😉

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