
Knowing how to keep the romance alive in your relationship or marriage on a day to day basis can be hard. You know, when the washing machine is broken again, the kids are playing up and work hours are long and exhausting. Sometimes it can feel like we are ships that pass in the night, only coming together when both partners are tired and maybe feeling just a tad grumpy.
Let’s face it, our busy daily lives are just not conducive to romance. Couples are constantly under pressure and it’s no wonder we all struggle to keep the romance alive in our relationships and marriages. However, it can be easier than you think to keep the romance alive in your relationship – and it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either.
Easy Tips to Help You Keep The Romance Alive
Encourage Public Displays Of Affection
Let your kids – and the rest of the world – see that you love one another. Always give your partner a kiss and a hug when they leave or return. Touch your partner’s arm, hold their hand and always, always kiss them goodnight.
Listen
When your partner speaks, look them in the eye and really pay attention. There’s nothing worse than realising you have just said, ‘Yeah, sure honey’ and not being able to remember what you have agreed to – except perhaps having to repeat something you have already shared for the umpteenth time. We all need to be heard and acknowledged.
Let Go Of The Past
Dragging an event from the past into a disagreement in the present is never a good idea. Everyone makes mistakes and we have to move on from them. Leave the past where it belongs – in the past!
Keep The Romance Alive With Compromise
Even fundamental disagreements about important things are not as important as the foundation of your relationship. How badly do you really want the thing you are arguing about? How badly do you need to ‘win’? Is it important enough to risk cracking away at the foundation of your relationship? Or would it be better to find a solution that works for you both? I’ve always found the latter to be a better choice.
Say I’m Sorry When You Need To – And Even When You Don’t
I am probably one of the most stubborn people on earth, and climbing down off my high horse when I get upset is something I find very difficult. I don’t think my husband will mind me saying he’s a tiny bit stubborn too. We’ve both found that sometimes ‘acting as if’ can make you feel that way too. In other words, sometimes I do not want to apologise at all, but if I make myself do it, even if I don’t feel I’m in the wrong, the results are amazing. I start to feel more kindly towards my husband and remember all the wonderful things he does for me. Is winning an argument or being ‘right’ really that important? Not if you want to keep the romance alive.
Laugh
Life is too short to take everything seriously. Try to keep the atmosphere light and laugh at one another’s jokes. Life isn’t always funny, but look for the humour in stressful situations – it can be hard, but even battlefield humour is better than none at all.
Spend Time Together To Keep The Romance Alive
Make time together an absolute priority to keep the romance alive. While time with friends is important, it’s your relationship with your partner that needs nurturing more than anything else. Never put friends before your partner.
Organise a monthly date night, even if it’s just dinner together with a bottle of wine and some candles after the kids have gone to bed. (For Date Night Dinner Ideas click here!) Or spend a couple of hours together one afternoon doing something you both enjoy. A lot of museums offer free entry and a walk in the park costs absolutely nothing. Agree not to discuss your kids or stressful situations during this time together. (This is harder than it sounds, but well worth it!)
Speak Well of Your Partner In Front Of Others
We all have tiffs and disagreements, it’s part of being human. If you have a bone to pick with your partner, pick it with them, not your friends or relations. No matter how cross you may be, never, ever criticise your partner in public or behind their back. Equally, don’t use social media to air your grievances or shame someone.
Discuss the things that drive you crazy about each other privately and try to work out manageable solutions. Or embrace the beauty of agreeing to disagree and work out a way of moving forward between you to keep the romance alive.
Remember You Are Both On The Same Team
This is beyond important, particularly when things get tough. Kids – and even some adults – are specialists at “divide and conquer” and this can cause real tension. Abraham Lincoln’s words, “A house divided against itself cannot stand” are really appropriate here – even though he wasn’t talking about that kind of house! Solve your differences in private and always, always present a united front when you are with others.
Say Thank You and Offer Praise To Keep The Romance Alive
My husband has always said that there is no task that is “my job” or “his job”. Although we each gravitate towards certain tasks, we both do a little bit of everything. However, if you have divided tasks, then even if your partner is doing something you have both agreed is ‘their job’, make a point of saying thank you. Praise them for a job well done. Making each other feel appreciated is a key way to keep the romance alive.
And Most Importantly – Enjoy The Journey
Every relationship goes through ups and downs. Using the tips in this post can help make the challenges a bit less daunting, but they are unavoidable. Work through the difficulties you face together. Learning from them can deepen your love for one another – and that is the best way to keep the romance alive that I know!
Comments & Reviews
This was such a great post. You have to work hard at this. You can’t coast.
Thank you so much, Laina 🙂 I totally agree – you really do have to work hard!
Such a wonderful post, April. How useful these tips are and how magnifincent and persuasive your writing style is.
Thank you so much, Hadia! What a lovely compliment!
This is a lot of hard work, especially when one has kids. Now that ours is older, we have to make time instead of sitting and worrying about our teenager and his new freedoms. Although when he goes to camp, we do much better a s a couple!
This is true, Mitch, it does become more challenging as our kids get older. It can be nice to have time alone as a couple, and I do think it really benefits the relationship 🙂
It’s definitely a lot of hard work, but so worth it. I truly love the one on one time we get.
This is true, Leah 🙂
What a great uplifting positive post. Great goals that are actually reachable. Thanks!
Thank you, Kristi 🙂
What great advice. Especially about laughing and choosing your battles carefully and in private. I think that doing little things for your partner is just as important. I open the front door when I hear his car pull in and he does the same. Great post and reminder that good marriages / relationships take work and attention
Thank you so much, Kathleen 🙂
These are great tips! I have been married for over ten years and have four little ones. Sometime it’s hard!
Thank you, Jacqui. It really can be hard to find time for each other when you have children. I must admit, sometimes we struggled and we only had one child!
Well said, April. Forget making a big to-do out of Valentine’s Day. No matter how “perfect” that celebration, if you’re not following these tips every day of the year, you’re sunk.
Thank you so much, Jean. And I totally agree 🙂
So true! Having been married almost 43 years, you hit the nail on the head. It is obviously working for you as well. Look at the smiles on your faces!!! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Congratulations to you and your husband on 43 years, MJ! And thank you so much for your very kind comment 🙂
Great post April and I love the pictures of you and your husband. You look perfect together ❤️
Thank you so much, Laureen 🙂
Great post April. The ideas are so simple – and so important.
Thank you so much, Jenny 🙂
I totally agree with you on these – in fact I’ve got a similar post coming up on Wednesday! 😉
#weekendbloghop
Thank you, Morgan. I think it’s good that we share our tips and experience as it can really help 🙂 Have a great weekend!
Aww, such a lovely post-April. You made me realise something I do all the time and something I need to do more. Loved reading this, you two look so happy 🙂 Thanks for sharing at The Weekend Blog Hop #Weekendbloghop
Thank you so much, Claire 🙂
A lovely post, April! And it looks like you and your hubby love each other so very much. <3 I pinned a couple of photos to my Ethereal Beautiful You and then shared to FB to my French Ethereal page. I said it was a clean post, too. 🙂
Thank you for sharing some wonderful thoughts,
Hugs,
Barb 🙂
Thank you so much, Barb. We really do <3 I thank God we found each other - it's quite a miracle considering how far apart we were born 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing and pinning, I really appreciate it! Hugs 🙂
April, this was great! Wonderful ideas for all marriages. Romance can definitely be hard to keep up when running around with 3 kids. We have to be intentional about making time for each other. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much, Angela!
Little choices to honor the relationship and to invest in our partner –they go a long way!
This is so true, Michele!:-) Thank you.
Great post, April. I especially like the point about speaking well of our spouses in front of others. It makes me so sad when I hear gripe-fests about significant others. Sure, we all have traits that irritate. But why major on those?
These are all wonderful tips to help keep the romance alive. I have found after almost fifteen years of marriage, that they certainly make a powerful difference when you follow these simple tips.
I believe the physical touch is quite vital ESPECIALLY when you’re passers in the night. I also make darn certain my husband and I tell each other that we love each other each time we leave one another and before we go to bed.
Thank you, Crystal.
I totally agree, warm greetings and farewells accompanied by a hug and/or kiss are so important!
I also agree about saying “I love you”. In fact, I carry this into other close personal relationships as well. One of my cousins and I had a tumultuous relationship over the years, not always agreeing with one another. Sadly he passed away very unexpectedly in his late fifties, but the last time we saw each other he gave me a big hug and told me he loved me. I shared that I loved him too. When he passed away, I was comforted by our conversation and I will always be grateful to him for it. Ever since then, I always tell the people I love how I feel when we part. It’s a vulnerable thing to do, but it is so important for everyone.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment 🙂
Great advice April. Wonderful lesson within.
Visiting from #116
Thank you so much, Paula!
I think a balance of compromise & laughter really help marriage relationships April. Keeping the communication open too is another important element which helps keep romance alive.
Blessings, Jennifer
I agree, Jennifer. These are all very important things! Blessings, April