How to Reduce Holiday Stress

The media would have us believe that we are all meant to be sailing serenely through the holiday season, joyfully celebrating a Hallmark-style Christmas and New Year, looking flawless and feeling great. The reality is that most of us have ‘to do’ lists that have taken on lives of their own. We are overstretched, overtired, and prone to hysterical laughter when someone asks us to do ‘one more thing’. We are in desperate need of help to reduce holiday stress.

The whole beyond wonderful reason for the holiday season gets totally lost in the quest for how things ought to be, as we try to fulfil endless expectations (both our own and other people’s). It really is nothing to do with decorations, cards or presents, yet even the most spiritual of us can get lost in the ‘busy-ness’ of Christmas. Let me be the one to urge you – even give you permission if you need it – to step back.

It’s time to remember that everyone is supposed to be enjoying this wonderful time of year – and that everyone includes you. Need some help? Let’s get started!

Be Realistic

It’s important to be realistic about what you can actually achieve. We have such high expectations of ourselves all year round, and the holidays are no exception. You can only be in one place at a time, and you can only achieve so much in a day.

If you know you will be too busy to make home baked treats for every holiday party it really is okay. And if you need permission to say no when someone asks you to do something you can’t or do not want to fit in, consider it given!

Learn to Delegate

You don’t have to do it all by yourself. It’s okay to ask – and yes, even to pay for – help.

Christmas baking is one of my favourite things to do, and I have many cherished memories of time spent in the kitchen with loved ones ‘baking memories’ – but if it brings you more stress than joy, it’s perfectly fine to purchase treats ready-made.

I also love to wrap presents. I have wonderful memories of cosy holiday season evenings warping presents with my late Dad. He taught me how to carefully fold the paper and tie a pretty ribbon. That said, having parcels professionally wrapped is just fine, and many stores offer free wrapping services this time of year. If I’m too busy, or if the wrappings look nicer than mine will, it almost always my preferred option.

Failing that, kids love to ‘help’ wrap presents, and although you may have to invest a little time and patience to teach them how, the memories you create will be well worth it. You can always pre-cut wrapping paper for little ones if you are worried about scissors. Also, no one is going to mind a present that isn’t perfectly wrapped – and if they do, then they shouldn’t be on your gift list anyway.

Make Planning For the Holiday Season Part of Your Year

You don’t have to go full-on Christmas in July – although please don’t let me stop you if you want to – but keeping the holiday season in the back of your mind throughout the year can really help. If you see a gift that is perfect for someone and it fits into your budget, it’s a great idea to buy it then and there. If it is not in budget, make a note of the gift or take a photo and save it in a folder of gift ideas in your phone so you can come back to it later.

Just make sure you have a dedicated secret hiding place for anything you buy – and be sure to remember where it is (please don’t ask me how I know this).

I also have both virtual and physical files with recipes, ideas, notes and lists that I keep year round.

Choose Online Shopping Closer to the Holiday Season

Just trying to find a parking space in the midst of frantic holiday shoppers can be enough to reduce the strongest to tears, so once we get to December, I recommend shopping online where possible. Some companies will even wrap and deliver gifts directly to the recipients, saving you a trip to the post office, a real bonus if you are running a bit behind.

If possible, have non-perishable grocery shopping delivered in the weeks before Christmas, and schedule an online order for the main Christmas food nearer to the time. That way, you can hopefully avoid the shops, and if you do need one or two last minute things, it should be a much quicker trip than if you were doing a whole shop.

Lower Your Expectations

It is so easy to get caught up in the Christmas the media and advertisers are trying to sell us, but joy isn’t something you can buy or create. You can build up a vision in your head of everyone’s perfect Christmas and then exhaust yourself trying to create that, but if you ask most of your family, what they want in a Christmas celebration is probably a lot simpler than you might think. It also probably involves a very happy and contented you, not the frazzled, stressed out person you will be if you try to create the impossible.

Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

If someone else has unrealistically high expectations of what you should be able to achieve this time of year, don’t let it worry you. Memory can be a very forgiving thing, and if someone starts a sentence with words similar to ‘in my day’ remember that time may have gently edited their memory of perfection. Just smile and nod, and remember that doing your best is the best you can do.

Take Time for You

As impossible as that might seem, you need to make every effort to take care of yourself this time of year too. Getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, eating well, exercising and taking time to breathe are all crucial to enjoying (and keeping your sanity) this very busy time of year.

Remember Almost Everyone Gets Overwhelmed

It is easy to look at others and think they are totally organised, but I promise you, not everyone else has it together. Chances are they are juggling balls and paddling just as frantically underneath the surface as you feel you are.

We all want the best for our families and friends on special occasions, but the most wonderful thing we can give them is the best of ourselves. Don’t let that get lost in high expectations, mile long to do lists or an unrealistic vision of how things should be. Never forget that whatever may be happening around you or in your life, the whole reason for the Christmas season is joy.

“Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2 v10-11